Speaking of things that customarily grace my Christmas table, a platter of full-bodied Italian salumi, freshly baked crusty Italian bread, and an Italian cheeseboard have always taken center stage alongside my homemade insalata di frutti di mare, caponata, roasted tomatoes with smoked mozzarella, Christmas pasta salad, and more. (The word abbondanza comes to mind.) I honestly don’t know how Italian specialties specifically became the order of the day, but no one has ever complained. (They wouldn’t dare.)

Sadly, this year there would be no parties of any kind, family, friends, or curious hungry neighbors.

Back in the day, folks would sometimes take it upon themselves to fashion a sandwich tableside from savory components, and I got to thinking that since I was flying solo this year (ergo no flights of fancy), I’d make a huge sammich that would last for several days when cut it into pieces and could stand up to oven warming.

(Click on any image to view it in high resolution.)

While window-rattling Christmas music penetrated my kitchen (my antidepressant of choice these days), I constructed the two-foot long behemoth you see here. What’s in it in addition to Genoa salami, you ask? Pruhzhoot (aka prosciutto), zoopruhzaht (aka soppressata), gabagool (aka capocollo), mortadell (aka mortadella, but don’t confuse it with the ubiquitous pasta filata cheese, mootzadell) – and that’s just the meat contingent.

I limited the cheeses to the regulation provolone for sharpness and smoked mozzarella for meltiness and added a little sautéed onions and peppiz – veggies mean it’s good for you, right? The dressing was EVOO and balsamic vinegar kicked up with oregano, chopped fresh basil and the like. My secret ingredients? Agrodolce (sweet and sour) sun dried peppers from Vantia and – less an ingredient and more a technique – I fry the gabagool like bacon before I add it to the sangweech – heresy perhaps, but crunchy and delizioso.

And you know what? Christmas dinner this year turned out to be pretty merry after all!

(This one goes out with apologies to all my Italian friends. 😉)